Exit Light, Enter Night – Tips for Getting Baby to Sleep

Posted on March 21, 2013 by bridget13point1

By no means do I claim to know anything about parenting. Mostly what I write “has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience.” (And now THIS is in my head.) However, when I was approaching the 12 month marks with Peeks, I became pretty nervous about how I was going to handle bedtime after I stopped nursing.

You know what? It REALLY wasn’t a big deal. (Nor was moving her to her crib, starting formula/cow’s milk or switching to a sippy cup.) It seems – and this can come as a shocker to some of us – if you let the kid lead the way, things are pretty smooth!

I’m not a babyled weaner by any stretch, but have found that many of the things she relies upon for comfort (pacifier, swaddle blankets, swing) just become less important as time goes by. So, all of that being said, here are some of the things that have worked for us in getting baby to sleep…without a boob.

Rocking and Singing – Same song. Every night. “You are my sunshine…”
Reading a Book – I just feel like it’s vital to introduce kids to daily reading at an early age.
Standing and Swaying – Sometimes she’s just a little pistol and rocking in a chair won’t work. If she seems more interested in playing, I start the next round of steps.
Laying her Down While Awake – She does OK with this until I kiss her forehead and walk out of the room, at which point she wails away. However, at over a year old I know that this is not a true cry. In fact, there are usually not even tears involved. I typically stand outside the room for about 5-10 minutes (long enough for her to start wearing herself out), then go in, lay her back down, give a kiss then do the next step.
Stoke and Hum – Simply rubbing long strokes down her body while quietly humming can put her in a trance. Hum something you like, this can take a little while. Journey? Kiss? Metallica? She doesn’t know the difference.
Apply (Gentle) Pressure – When the eyes start getting heavy, I rest a hand on her chest or thigh and just wait until the breathing changes to sleepy-deep breathing and make my exit. Don’t smoosh your baby.

Now, tell me what I’ve missed! I’m always looking for new sleepytime ideas…and good book recommendations!

Time for Tubes – My baby has ear infections

Posted on March 21, 2013 by bridget13point1

I don’t have much time tonight (I REALLY want to go to bed early!) so I will make this quick.

We found out today that Peeks (that’s what I’ve been calling her lately – she LOVES peekaboo) needs to get ear tubes. She’s had an ear infection for – oh, about 8 weeks – and 4 antibiotics have not been able to do that trick. So, today we went to ENT and discussed options. I loved that the doctor never said “You need to do tubes,” but instead explained everything to me and then asked, “So how do you feel about tubes?” Uh, well, I think it’s a hell of a lot better than more antibiotics and poor sleeping.

In about 10 days we’ll have the surgery. Because I work at the hospital, and have been pretty involved with the Pediatric Point Team (a group of superstar nurses working to improve the pediatric experience) I already know a lot about what to expect AND a lot of the staff. I suppose that puts my mind at ease about the whole experience. Besides, I had surgery (pyloric stenosis) as a 6-week-old after losing 11 ounces. If my Mom could deal with that, then I can deal with this!

Tubes themselves take about 5 minutes to put in, but the whole process takes about 2-3 hours. Most impressive to me is that 1) I don’t have to worry about keeping water out of the ears post-op and 2) kids are back to regular activities later that day and can be back in daycare the next day! (Thank goodness…)

Now for my confession. When we went in for an ear check after the third round of antibiotics, we had the “It-Might-Be-Time-For-Tubes” Talk. Admittedly, I felt a little relieved that I wasn’t going to have to keep remembering meds AND I would get a day off to sit around and cuddle! (Obviously, surgery isn’t ideal, but I am trying to see the positives here.)

Sooooo, all that being said, my question is – who has had tubes, how old were your kids, how did they respond to anesthesia, and are there any tips for a first time mom/baby going through this?

p.s. After hearing the word “Eustachian” so much today, I think I will be dreaming about crustaceans. Weird? Maybe.

The Breastfeeding Weight-Loss Myth

Posted on February 10, 2013 by bridget13point1

Me and my baby giraffe following my half marathon and her first 5K. Trying to get that baby weight off…8 months post-partum.

I’m all for breastfeeding. It is an awesome way to bond with my baby as well as provide a myriad of health benefits that will last throughout her lifetime…it’s a gift that keeps on giving! However, if you’re doing it to help lose the baby weight, don’t hold your breath. Yes, breastfeeding burns mega calories, but it also tends to make you hungry. All of the extra noshing can make it difficult to drop the weight, especially those last 5-10 pounds. (I’m still convinced Beyoncé was power pumping – pumping ’round-the-clock to burn mega-calories – and making the rest of us look like slackers.)

As a woman who gained 39 pounds during my pregnancy…even with working out 6 times per week in boot camp and kickboxing…I was looking forward to the extra boost from breastfeeding. Having a C-section made it impossible for me to work out for 6 loooooong weeks post-op (not that I really felt to doing much anyway) so I tried to walk a lot. The weight did NOT fall off.

HOWEVER, once I got Baby Cakes in a routine and felt good enough to workout HARD (Tae Bo, kettle bells, running) and tracking my caloric intake – it started to happen. Not fast, but the baby weight started to drop. My fear was that I’d lose weight too quickly and my milk supply would drop, so I waited until she was around 8-months-old and was diligent about pumping. Initially, yes, there was a slight dip in supply, but nothing a little fenugreek couldn’t fix!

A friend once told me that you won’t lose ALL of your baby weight until you stop breastfeeding. (Not true for everyone, but something to keep in mind.) It seems that my body, like my friend’s, holds onto the fat stores to help maintain a healthy, womanly weight – not science, but it seems to hold true for me. On the other hand, actual science DOES show that for women who hold onto their baby weight more than 2 years post-natal, it is likely that it will stick for the rest of her life. So, it behooves all of us mamas to get back into the swing of things as soon as the doctor and your body tells you to.

DO IT.

So I’m curious…how long did you breastfeed and did you lose weight more easily?

When Toddlers Attack: Babies Who Bite

Posted on February 7, 2013 by bridget13point1

Earlier this week, I picked Honey Buns up from daycare and the moment I walked in I was greeted with, “We have some bad news…” Suddenly I was overridden with anxiety. Is a teacher leaving? Did she crack her head open? Drink some other mother’s breast milk?! No. None of the above. In fact, all that happened was a bite. Just a bite! Whew.

I realize that many mothers get upset about this – of course, that’s your baby and she was hurt by another kid. You may wonder, were the teachers not paying attention? How often does this happen? Why MY child? WHO DID IT?! (They won’t tell you.)

The thing is, none of that matters. Of course the teachers were paying attention, it’s their job to care for your child. If you trust them enough with your baby, trust that they are doing their jobs. However, this does NOT mean that your baby will never fall victim to a bite, a fall, even a scratch now and then. How many times has your baby been injured in your care? Now that mine walks, she’s constantly falling into things with sharp edges. I can’t prevent every little bump. Daycare is no different.

There is 1 teacher for 4 babies. Once those babies are toddling around (or sprouting teeth) the risk of ouchies increases significantly. I, for one, don’t expect that her teachers will be able to stop every bite. Kids are sneaky fast. Besides (and this is the REALLY important part) it could just as easily have been MY CHILD that was the BITER. Obviously we tell her “No Biting” when she tries to bite at home, but kids have free will and no empathy or understanding of consequence. They are going to do what feels good. Sometimes that means taking a chunk out of a friend’s back. I’ve decided there are bigger things to worry about, so for now I say, “She’ll live.”

But if this little nibbler becomes a repeat offender, well, we’ll see…

Giving Myself Permission to Supplement with Formula

Posted on January 12, 2013 by bridget13point1

Well, it happened. I finally gave in and started baby girl on formula at 10.5 months. When I was pregnant, I told myself 6 months of breastfeeding was my goal, but 1 year was my dream. I wanted to go from breast to whole milk, and someday tell her she never, ever even tasted formula. Having never done the breastfeeding thing before, I had nothing to base my goals off of, except the recommendations by the American Academy of Pediatrics. Sure, I’ll do what they recommend – why not?

Then I started breastfeeding. It was not as easy as I’d envisioned so I started to question myself…and my goals. Breastfeeding was everything I didn’t expect: painful, time-consuming, exhausting…you get the idea. {Note: All of these things can be managed. Talk to a lactation consultant – I did and things improved dramatically.}

One day, checking Facebook while nursing, I stumbled upon many “lactivist” and pro-breastfeeding pages. While initially helpful,I soon realized man practiced attachment parenting, something that just isn’t for me. I honestly have NO judgment for anyone’s parenting style; choose what works for your family.

My issue with these pages (and I know what you’re thinking…just “unlike” them) is that it’s a lot of pressure! Unintentional, I know, but it’s still there. These moms breastfeed until their children are 2+, they carry them everywhere, don’t let them cry, don’t work outside the home…oh emm gee. I can’t. So, when I fully realized that I wasn’t going to be able to keep up with pumping at work, I started to panic. I went from having an abundant freezer stash, the fridge-only stash, to having the daycare teachers call me to bring over when I JUST pumped. Whenever I had meetings out of town, I was panicked thinking she was going to starve.

Stress consumed me for about two weeks and then I just did it. I bought a canister of formula.

That night I shed a few tears just because I felt like I should. The next day, I gave it to daycare with the note that she’d never had it before…and there was no more breast milk. “Good luck!” You know what happened? Absolutely nothing. She drank 12 oz. that day, had no digestive issues and slept like a champ.

So I ask this, why do we let this get to us?

Today I went on Facebook and “unliked” all of those pro-breastfeeding pages. Don’t get it jumbled, I still think breast is best and I still plan to keep going until she’s one, but I know that if I can’t pump between afternoon meetings – the world isn’t going to fall apart. Leaving those Facebook pages was more for my own sanity, so I didn’t feel like a failure, because I’m not.

I once saw a post by a former OB nurse who said, “You have to feed your child. How you do it is up to you.”

A Punch on the Mama Card – Handling a Sick Child

Posted on January 5, 2013 by bridget13point1

There are bound to be a few times in my life, as a parent, when I feel like I’ve truly earned the title of “Mama.” It’s during those moments that I think there should be a punch card or some physical document that I can show the world and proclaim – “I’m here for the long haul. You can’t scare me away!” The first punch on my card would have to be the day she was born…via unplanned c-section.

Sure, motherhood was literally JUST beginning (unless you count that whole pregnancy thing – but for me that was mostly fun), but it still seemed like the world was trying to put me in my place. No dice, universe, I dominated that surgery/recovery and am proud of the scar that proves I can’t be defeated by some measly scalpel and a few dissolvable stitches.

My second punch on that card came almost a year later, when I listened to that dreaded voicemail from the babysitter (in this case, Gramma and Grampa – thank goodness!) that “maybe you should pick up some Pedialyte on your way home.” Uh oh. Turns out that we’d be ringing in 2013 covered in baby puke. Poor kid.

I thought that I had managed to avoid the worst of it. By the time we got home (right around Midnight), she’d had multiples baths and PJ changes but was sleeping soundly. She stayed that way until 6:30 the next morning! When I picked her up from bed, I knew immediately that another bath was in order thanks to a few remnants left over from the night before. (She seemed worse off than her mama who had spent the evening cozying up to multiple cherry cocktails! Poor girl had the hangover with none of the fun.)

After the bath we cuddled up in comfy clothes for the day and I began to nurse her in our bed while the hubby showered and Gramma and Grampa packed up to head home. That’s when it happened. She got calm and quiet, really snuggled into me and then the puke-volcano erupted. Everywhere. The bed, the floor, my front AND back sides. Everywhere. Of course, I yelled for my mom to help. J Some things never change! Baby girl and I BOTH got into the tube together and she was magically back to 100% – splish-splashing and partying it up. We made it through the next 12 hours on water and breast milk with little spit up – nothing to write home about, but at bedtime she had oatmeal and over-nursed and we started the cycle again.

Somehow, through all of this, Dada managed to stay puke-free. Lucky bastard. BUT, what he didn’t get was a punch on his Mama Card. Nope, that special privilege was reserved just for me! I feel proud that I made it through her first stomach bug. One of my biggest fears as a parent is how to handle it when the kiddo is sick. Would I know if it was something serious? Would I be able to comfort her like my Mom did for me? Would I call the doctor too much and be one of “those moms?” When it was all said and done, I looked back and realized that no matter when I did, the most important thing was just to let everything else go (I didn’t get to work out, clean my house, work on scrapbooks, watch the Rose Bowl game, take done my Christmas tree or any of the other crap I had planned for my New Year’s Day) but it didn’t matter – because I got to be her Mama.

NOTE: In all likelihood, she had a stomach bug (NOT influenza), but the next few days her dad and I both showed minor influenza symptoms. Thankfully, our whole house had been vaccinated or who KNOWS how much longer we would have been out of commission. Get your flu shots people. Just DO IT!

A Letter to my Daughter: Stand up for what you know is right

Posted on November 8, 2012 by bridget13point1

Dear Hadlee,

Even though you’ve only been here 8 months, I already know I would do anything for you. I will fight for you and I will always do what I think is best for you, but last night I was tested.

I’ve never been much for nursing in public. Don’t take that to mean that I’m opposed – that’s far from the truth. I just struggle with the mechanics of it. For me, it is just physically uncomfortable. Breastfeeding isn’t easy – at least it’s not for me. Unfortunately though, you HATE taking a bottle from me. (Of course from Dad, you have no issue!)

Last night we were at your second week of swimming lessons – which you LOVE, by the way! After the class ended, it was already past your bedtime and we still had a 25 minute drive home, AND you hadn’t really eaten much of anything in nearly 4.5 hours. Putting your needs ahead of my discomforts, I hopped out of the pool, wrapped you in a towel and found a quiet place on the pool deck to nurse you. Nope, I wasn’t comfortable on that wet wooden bench in my sopping swimsuit, but I wanted you to be content and happy for our trip home. That’s when it happened…

A lifeguard came up and asked me to “do that somewhere else.” Do what, where? I was so confused. Then it clicked – my breastfeeding was not acceptable on the pool deck. I was directed to the locker room (which was tiny and FULL of 15 moms and 15 kids all changing to go home) –OR– the “family room.” I use the quotes because the “family room” was nothing more than a large public bathroom. Gross. Wanting to avoid confrontation, I did as I was asked, the entire time I was annoyed at myself for not standing up for you (and me) right away.

You see, Hady, in Wisconsin women have the right to nurse anywhere at any time – without question. No one can ask us to go “somewhere else,” cover up or stop. If they do, they can be fined up to $200! We live in a GREAT STATE. Unfortunately, I was so befuddled by her request that I couldn’t get the words out. I just…complied. Ugh.

As we sat in the glorified bathroom, you were constantly distracted and didn’t eat well so I packed it in and headed to the crowded locker room to change for the ride home. Sharing what happened with our friends, the other moms, even total strangers, were as shocked as I was. Their reactions gave me the confidence I needed to take action.

We got home, you ate dinner, took a bath and went to bed. I, on the other hand, took to Google. I gathered my facts, wrote a respectful email to the pool director that ended with, “I plan to feed my daughter next week after class, on the pool deck, so hopefully this confrontation can be avoided.”

You know what happened? They were apologetic and helpful, offering to speak with the staff. I couldn’t have been more pleased at how simple that was. You see, babe, if you want something you have to ask for it. I hope you never lack the courage you need to stand up for what you know is right. No matter what…I have your back.

Love,

Mama

My email, in case you need an example for your own situation:

To whom it may concern-

I wanted to send me compliments on the swimming lessons offered at [TOWN]. My daughter is only 8 months old and after just 2 sessions, I feel like she’s grown so much – thank you to your instructors!

On another note, I had a bit of a disappointment after tonight’s class. I got out of the pool, and with a long drive back home, I thought it would be best if I fed my daughter before we left. The locker room was so busy with moms and kids, I figured I would just sit on the pool deck and feed her. One of your lifeguards must have been offended or bothered because she basically told me I had to “do that somewhere else.” I was so caught off-guard.

I don’t want to cause a stink about it, but there are laws in WI that protect women for doing just what I was doing. I hope you will speak with your staff and educate them about the laws regarding breastfeeding in public. I’ve included the verbiage here, for you. I plan to feed my daughter next week after class, on the pool deck, so hopefully this confrontation can be avoided.

“Right to breast-feed. A mother may breast-feed her child in any public or private location where the mother and child are otherwise authorized to be. In such a location, no person may prohibit a mother from breast-feeding her child, direct a mother to move to another location to breast-feed her child, direct a mother to cover her child or breast while breast-feeding, or otherwise restrict a mother from breast-feeding. A person who interferes with that right is subject to forfeiture not to exceed $200 under the general penalty provision under current law.”

Thanks in advance,

[NAME]

[PHONE & EMAIL]

Surviving your first night away from baby

Posted on October 15, 2012 by bridget13point1

For my job, I get to attend an annual, statewide conference every year. I consider myself lucky to work for an organization that values the host group so much, I have been encouraged to join the board of directors. My role this year was to co-chair the awards ceremony, which has been a great pleasure. Not only were my nerves slightly elevated for the public speaking I had to do (in front of a number of esteemed professionals in my field) it was also my first trip away from my baby…overnight. I wasn’t sure how I would do, but it went swimmingly, if I do say so myself!

The drop-off

If your situation is like mine, you will have to take your baby to daycare the day you leave. I guess I didn’t really think about the fact that I wouldn’t be picking her up…for two DAYS, until I walked out of the room. I peeked back in, she was totally fine (obviously) but I quickly deteriorated. Made it to my car and started to tear up. I refused to cry. “That’s silly; there are much bigger things to cry about. Besides, if I start now, I won’t stop.”

The first night

I happened to be staying in one of the nicest resorts in Wisconsin, sooooo I made the most of it. I made a list of the things I was looking forward to the most. I booked a massage appointment (as well as spa lunch, spent time in the whirlpool, spa lounge, meditation area, even the luxurious changing room!) Sleep (something most moms become unfamiliar with) was also on my list. With a king size bed and about 18 pillows, I was guaranteed a good night! (Too bad I still woke up every 2-3 hours, even if only briefly.) Oh, and room service. Don’t forget room service – YUM!

Throughout the day

Since I’m still breastfeeding, I had to pump. Oh, joy. It is not my fav extracurricular activity, but it had to be done! Ever few hours, I’d break away to do my motherly duties. During this time, I took a few moments to look at photos my husband had texted me, watch videos of her on YouTube, and just enjoyed her from a distance.

What I DIDN’T do

Don’t call daycare to “just see how it’s going,” you’ll make things worse for yourself. Don’t forget, you are allowed to have fun – even though you’re a mom. And don’t think that you HAVE to be sad. I wasn’t…and no one revoked my mama card.

Giraffe jacket I bought for my babe!

Final Thoughts…

That daycare pickup upon your return is one of the BEST things – ever. Get a gift (big or small) for your baby and make a note of it in the baby book. Oh, and alcohol helps.

Camping with Kids – 5 tips for success

Posted on October 8, 2012 by bridget13point1

Every year, my husband and I have the pleasure (?) of packing our Jeep to the gills with coolers, a tent and sleeping bags and making a break for the hills with three of our best couple-friends. We wives spend our days sitting in folding chairs, reading trashy books and magazines, playing games or taking naps while the husbands are off doing God-knows-what. We just hope they return to camp before they get too intoxicated to remember where it’s at (or the Ranger asks us to leave.)

This year was different though, this year we packed something extra…the kidlets. Don’t get me wrong, camping with kids is an awesome experience for them and an educational one for the parents. You just need to be prepared and keep a few things in mind.

1) Take things they love. Favorite toys, clothing items (dress them in layers!), foods, etc. Things that keep them happy at home will also work in the great outdoors. Also, we took a kiddie corral to keep the kids and the toys contained. Even the bigger kids wanted in, so it was easy to keep track of them.

2) Know that their legs will magically be tired-immediately upon starting a hike (or simple walk to the bathroom.) Baby carriers are a MUST, as well as a stroller or wagon and any other contraption that you can fit. It’s that…or your shoulders. You pick.

3) Choose a site close to restrooms and showers. Even if you’re only camping for a short time, you will want to be close to running water. Besides, there is nothing fun about a middle-of-the-night bathroom run in the dark, with a toddler. And a side note, you may want to consider camping close to home (1-2 hours away…just in case things really do go haywire.)

4) Remember the basics. Warm stuff for cold nights, sunscreen and bug spray, foods that are simple to prepare and that kids will eat, campfire treats (it’s vacation – go a little crazy with the sugar!) and a First Aid kit.

5) Finally, do NOT show your apprehension. Even if you think this excursion will be the most dreadful experience of your life, don’t let on. Kids are smart, even as babies, they can read your cues. Keep it positive and they will follow suit.

Have you camped with kids? What am I forgetting?

Oh, and in case you are wondering, just where was I camping? Here.

Starting a Bedtime Routine with a Newborn

Posted on August 31, 2012 by bridget13point1

As a new parent, you will hear it a MILLION times – get them into a routine. I heard that and I craved that, but at the same time, I had this tiny, little baby that seemed to have no rhyme or reason to her needs and wants throughout the day. As the final month of my maternity leave approached, I picked up the registration paperwork from our daycare and my heart sank! They wanted information on her daily routine – eating, sleeping, wakeful habits – and I had no idea. I felt like a terrible mama! How could I have spent every moment of every day with this little girl and not know her at all?

I began to pay closer attention and did notice some patterns emerge, but my biggest concern never was what she did during the day – it was BEDTIME! For nearly two months, we’d let her fall asleep in our arms, while we watched TV then we’d take her up to our room where she slept in a bassinet. Often I wondered if it was too early to try to get a routine in place or not. I mean, hell, it would have been AWESOME to get through a meal WITH my husband and WITHOUT a screaming newborn. A bedtime routine seemed to be the answer, so we gave it a shot.

Note: It was SO HARD to be apart from her in the evenings! We went from having her with us until we went to bed, to putting her down a full 2-3 hours before us. I know it is better for her, but we sure missed her in those quiet hours at night. Now that she’s 6 months old – we have found ways to fill those free hours…hello, laundry!

It took nearly a full month before she really figured out that we were doing the same thing every day. Maybe we started when she was too young (8 weeks), but it ended up working out well for all of us. Here’s how our routine started…

6:45 – Head upstairs for a nice warm bath
7:00 – Lotiony baby massage and PJs
7:15 – Hugs and kisses from Daddy
7:20 – Mama sings while baby nurses
8:15 – She (finally) falls asleep and goes into her crib (Victory!!)

Putting her to bed was a long, exhausting event every night, but SO WORTH IT! By the time I went back to work, she was getting the hang of it and now that she’s 6 months old, the whole process takes about 30 minutes, start-to-finish. Honestly, that’s a little bittersweet, because it is less one-on-one time spent looking into those beautiful baby blue eyes, but seeing her zonked out in her crib makes me so happy! She plays hard and sleeps hard.

She’s truly my baby.